A Place to Stay Forever
Tired of a lifeless never-ending existence?
There is an answer to solve this perilous woe against all of transcended humanity. The Stasis Deep Sleep System will give you back that meaning to yearn and chase immortality a bit longer.
Just lie down and plug in – It’s that simple.
Once asleep inside, you get to live out a lifetime within a splendorous Eden of realism. Then when you awake, a new conscious life will be added to your collective conscious attributes table.
So why wait?
Why continue to toil?
Contact us today, and a LaPorte Service Representative will help you in your next stage of immortal transcendence.
Side Effects may include loss or partial loss of conscious mind, an abnormally high energy consumption bill, and a slight possibility of a fiery, most permanent death.
An agent is waiting to take your call!
Journey to the West Valley Wall
Are you feeling lonely or lost?
Are you paranoid to leave the house?
There is a cure for such madness that only requires courage, determination and love.
That’s it, that’s all — it’s that easy!
Oh, and if you lack in all three requirements, your application may still be approved. Also, no doctor’s prescription is necessary to take this trip.
Side Effects may include nausea, hopelessness and crippling panic attacks.
If ready to take this leap — step inside the oppressive mind of an agoraphobic trying to finish his science fiction novel while being tasked with an unthinkable ask!